Re-wrote my "essence bio..."
"The heart is an artist that paints over what profoundly disturbs it, leaving on the canvas a less dark, less sharp version of the truth." ~ Fiction novelist Dean Koontz
My wife has told me for years to pray in detail. While I do believe in God and I do attend church services, I would still say my faith has been intermittent. I am a Christian, however, I have struggled with the idea that any church, any faith, any religion has the exclusive insight on God and His will.
Nonetheless, I was recently faced with another crisis and so I prayed. For the first time I wrote down my prayers. Not so much because I wanted to keep them; rather, I tend to be a visual and tactile learner and writing helps me organize my thoughts. In the beginning of September 2010, God answered my prayers in such a profound way that my faith has never been stronger.
It all began when I was born a poor black child. Sorry, I'm a big Steve Martin fan. I believe a bio should be about the essence of your being and not what you have done or about what you are about to do. I'm a thinker. When I was young they called me a daydreamer. It seems that I have been writing in head my entire life. I am a multi-tasker as if that were a proper verb. At any given time I am reading several books at the same time and I tend to fill my plate with so many projects that it astounds me when I list them.
About a decade ago I had a psychologist tell me I was the worst kind of bipolar. What? Had I misbehaved? “No,” she said. Rather than being manic-depressive, I am manic-manic which is apparently difficult to treat because I like it. As you might surmise, I am always a bit manic, but, I assure you, I can be uncontrollably manic. I can be difficult. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. I am high maintenance. Thank God my wife is so tolerant and strong. If it were not for her, I would not be here.
So how did God answer my prayer? It was an epiphany of sorts. I have always been a strong believer that everything that you do or that happens to you is for a purpose. But, it's nearly impossible to recognize when you're in the thick of things, but in retrospect, the path holds true.
I needed a job that allowed me to stay home and take care of my family. Working 60 hours a week in an office as I have done over and over in the past simply was a poor option. So how, I asked? I recognize that God has blessed me with the ability to communicate. That attribute made me a great manager and a decent salesman, but it also makes me a good writer. I absolutely love writing. I love talking too, but writing is so organized and passionate.
My prayers were answered with a resounding THERE YOU GO; NOW DO IT! God has further blessed me by facilitating my new writing career. Even though I have been bouncing around in the dark writing this and that and feeling me way towards an elusive end, God said write.
And so I write. I write everything. I am now a professional journalist and fiction novelist. I know; I find it hard to believe myself, but it's true. Somebody has fallen under my spell and has opted to pay me for the very thing I love. God is great.
Muslims often profoundly conclude a conversation with إن شاء الل "'n sha al-la" which means “God willing.” Life is great even though my bipolarity questions it once in a while. I am a husband, a father, and a pretty decent fellow. Instead of seeking the truth, men should seek accountability, honor, and grace. By God's great grace, the rest will fall into place.
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